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sum1@thesumtimes.com
BREAKING [the] NEWS [cycle]

NATIVE FLOUR SWEPT OUT FROM UNDER THE CARPET

By Bruce Pascoe

"We were stranded on a heathland west of Shipwreck like an unhappy family of arthritic brolgas. Our mission had been to find a rare banksia and our success had been achieved so quickly we were faced with the prospect of returning before we’d even popped the plugs on our battered Aladdin vacuum flasks.

We stood there surveying the scene of our triumph in doleful exhilaration. We were boffins mostly so the emotion came as easily to us as our woeful choice of tailors..."

RAW DATA collected from Operation Coles Car Park, Mparntwe (Alice Springs).

ONE STOP SHOP 
A quick at-a-glance value breakdown of Australia’s big issues of the day

 
MEDICS UNDER SCRUTINY, DARWIN.jpg

"Yuwa yuwa yuwa, I love those mangy dogs. They sleep in my bed, no one comes inside. I don’t trust those stupid doctors, I know what’s wrong myself, not them..."

By Facebook Users Anon

86 tram, High Street.jpg

"She knew if you hyperventilated enough your body sends you unconscious and breathes for you because it doesn’t want you to die. She could smell lavender sprigs...."

 

Concern About Gender Inequality on a Victorian Music Festival Line-Up Sparks Intellectual Debate

 

Illustration by Ben Minkley.

Search for missing thief continues

"After analysing CCTV footage, Rain Cloud finds more clues about thief ono the loose in CBD"

Double Disillusionment

Political Shelf .jpg

DOMESTIC DISPUTE IN GUILFORD, VICTORIA

"The limbs are feeling the pressure of the changing climate. With no certainty of the times to come, the branches of today live in constant fear ..."

Dim Sim Prices Set to Soar

my personal favourite.JPG

"Dim Sim prices are predicted to increase by over 400% later this month. The predicted spike is the inadvertent result of the Sea Shepherd’s War on Whalers..."

Still Clutching The Watch: How Cult 'The Family' Got in the Way of Ours

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"Darcy and I went on a tour of the Chernobyl exclusion zone with a video camera, because we thought it would be a good place to take footage for a short documentary competition on the theme ‘Anthropocene’ that we would like to have won last month..."